...and yet I keep trying to. I don't ever learn..It's like I need to drill it into my head that he doesn't love me anymore..

On the bright side, college is going well, some very cool professors..and I met some people who have the same vices and destructive habits at I do..which makes me feel a little less alone, cuz they got through it and maybe I can continue to stay "clean" as well.. (not talking about drugs here people)

I still feel like shit..worrying about how I'm gonna pay for gas, and get all my work done..plus I kinda wanna be happy..and it's like I'm just not allowed..the *only* one I want has decided -once again- that he just doesn't love me "in that way"...bullshit, I think, but he refuses to open his eyes and see how nobody knows him or loves him as I do..I'm the only one who never gave up on him..

but that doesn't seem to matter anymore..maybe it's just as well, cuz he's been depressed lately too..and when you put the two of us together when we're down and out..we will take eachother down with ourselves..

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"Come on," he said, gesturing toward the exit. "lets take a walk."
"Where?"
"It doesn't matter. We just need to get you calmed down, or you'll be in no shape to fight."
"Yeah? Are you afraid of my possibly insane dark side coming out?"
"No, I'm afraid of your normal Rose Hathaway side coming out, the one that isn't afraid to jump in without thinking when she believes something is right."
I gave him a dry look. "Is there a difference?"
"Yes. The second one scares me."
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-Shadow Kiss by Richelle Mead